Behind the Bathroom Door
by Anglerfish
Summary: Matsuda overhears an...interesting...conversation between L and Light. And what are they doing in the bathroom with the door closed, anyway? Oneshot, implied LxLight.


L always dismissed the task force suddenly, whenever he chose to do so. Matsuda was halfway through a particularly boring document listing custodians who had been employed by Yotsuba Group in 1999 when L said, "All right, you can go."

Matsuda stood up and stretched. Around him, the others were getting up and heading for the door, calling, "See you tomorrow!" to each other. L left through the other door, tugging Light behind him—probably to the kitchen to get more cake. Matsuda smiled a little and shook his head. It was probably hard on Light, being forced to follow L everywhere he went.

Matsuda was about to head for the door himself when he noticed the half-full coffee cup that still sat on his desk. He didn't want to make L clean it up, so he picked it up and carried it to the kitchen. Surprisingly, L and Light weren't there, but Matsuda didn't bother to wonder about it. He poured out the now-cold coffee, set the cup in the sink, and headed for the door.

As he walked down the hallway, he heard Light's voice saying, "How should we do this? I don't think it'll work if I'm standing, so…"

It was coming from behind the door of the bathroom.

"Try sitting up on the counter, Light-kun," L's voice replied.

Matsuda stopped, puzzled. What were they doing in the bathroom together with the door closed?

"Like this?" Light said. "Can you reach?"

"Spread your legs apart, so I can come right up…yes. I think this will work."

Matsuda's eyes widened, his mind going straight to the gutter. He quickly shook his head, trying to clear it of all dirty thoughts. No matter what it sounded like, there had to be some perfectly legitimate excuse for what he was hearing.

"Are you sure?" Light sounded apprehensive. "Maybe we should go somewhere with more room…"

"We are fine here, Light-kun. It will be all right."

There was a pause, then Matsuda heard Light say, sounding worried, "It's…bigger than I thought it would be."

Matsuda's jaw dropped. He must have heard that wrong—he must have.

"It will be all right, Light-kun. Let me rub something on it, and then we can start."

No, he _really_ couldn't be hearing this.

"You look worried, Light-kun," L said. "We don't have to…"

"I want to do this," Light said firmly. "It's just…" His voice lowered, and Matsuda couldn't help moving closer to the door to listen. "It seems like it'll hurt. Will it, Ryuzaki?"

"I would not know," L replied. "I have never done this before."

"Oh, that's reassuring."

"I will try not to hurt you, Light-kun," L said. "Are you ready for me to do it?"

Matsuda was practically in shock. L and Light were really about to…do it…right in the bathroom of the task force headquarters. It made him see the handcuffs in a whole new way. He closed his eyes, trying to get some particularly dirty images out of his mind. Was that really what was going on? He could barely believe it. L and Light together was…it was…

Actually, it was pretty hot.

He knew that he should leave right then, as quietly as possible, and pretend not to have heard anything, but for some reason, he couldn't tear himself away. He moved closer to the door.

"I'm ready, Ryuzaki," Light was saying bravely. "You can stick it in now."

There was a pause, and then Light sucked in his breath. "L…" he moaned.

Matsuda could feel his cheeks turning red.

"Are you all right, Light-kun?" L asked, sounding concerned.

"It…feels funny. I think I'm bleeding…"

"Only a little," L said soothingly. "I am pulling it out now, Light-kun. There…that wasn't too bad, was it?"

"I guess not," Light said.

Matsuda stood frozen. He was so dazed by what he had heard that he didn't notice the door swinging open until it almost hit him.

"Hello, Matsuda-san," L greeted him, coming out of the bathroom. "I was unaware that you were still here."

"Oh, hi," Light said, following L. "What are you still doing here?"

"N-nothing," Matsuda stammered, his face flushing again. "I mean, I was just…I was…"

"Look." Light turned his head to the side, and something on his right earlobe shone. "Ryuzaki pierced my ear for me. I think it looks really good, don't you?"

"Ryuzaki…what?" Matsuda stared at him.

"Light-kun wanted his ear pierced, but he distrusts ear-piercing establishments," L said.

"They use the same piercing gun, or whatever you call that thing, on everybody," Light put in, sounding disgusted. "It's so unsanitary. I wouldn't want that touching _me_."

"He obviously could not do it himself, so I offered to do it for him," L continued, holding up a large sewing needle with several drops of blood on one end. "It turned out to not be very hard at all."

"Easy for you to say," Light said, but he smiled at L.

"_That's _what you were doing?" Matsuda said incredulously. "Piercing his ear?"

"Of course," L said matter-of-factly. "What did you think we were doing?"

"I…" Matsuda shook his head. "Never mind."

"Maybe you should go home now," Light suggested. "You know—work tomorrow and everything. Ryuzaki, do you think we should do some _work _tonight?"

"Yes, that is a good idea," L agreed. "We should do a lot of work tonight. And we can also stick something else in the hole…that I put in your earlobe."

Light glanced at Matsuda. "Right. Try out some other earrings," he said quickly. "Or maybe we should just go to _bed_ early…if you know what I mean, Ryuzaki."

A look passed between them.

"Of course, Light-kun. We will have to get up early tomorrow…as will Matsuda-san. Good-bye, Matsuda-san."

"See you tomorrow," Light added.

"Bye," Matsuda mumbled, still partially in shock. He watched them walk toward the bedroom they shared, the chain that connected them jingling, then turned and headed for the door.

It wasn't until he was lying in bed that night, thinking over what had happened, that Matsuda realized exactly how much innuendo there had been in what L and Light were saying to each other.

He wondered if there was any significance to the fact that Light had gotten his _right _ear pierced.


End file.
